


Catlirious

by Skullszeyes



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Best Friends, Cat, Cute Aggression, Cute Ending, Evan Fong/Jonathan | H2ODelirious-centric, Fluff, Friendship, I'm Bad At Titles, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kitten, M/M, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Platonic Cuddling, Romantic Fluff, Slash, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-23 13:23:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23712190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skullszeyes/pseuds/Skullszeyes
Summary: Evan finds a cat in front of his house.
Relationships: Evan Fong/Jonathan | H2ODelirious
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	Catlirious

“How did that happen?” Evan asked, kneeling down to examine the black cat with white paws. He had walked outside after hearing loud meowing and wanted to see if he could chase the cat away before it gave him more of a headache, and what he expected was not the familiar voice of his best friend.

“I don’t know,” Delirious said honestly, looking up at him with blinking blue eyes with slitted pupils.

Evan stared at him, heart racing. He was adorable, he couldn’t lie about the thought running in his head that he wanted to pick up the kitten and hold him tightly in his arms. However, this was Delirious, and he had to restrain himself a bit before he did anything awkward.

“Where…” he ran his fingers through his dark hair, “I mean, there has to be a reason this happened, and…” He caught a woman and a man across the street, they slowed their pace and were speaking amongst each other while their eyes were set on him and the cat.

_Well, shit…_

“Uh, Delirious, I’m going to have to pick you up…” This sounded like a bad idea, but Evan wasn’t about to confess he really just wanted to pick him up.

Delirious moved back, his black tail swishing behind him. “What? No. I need you to help me find out how to stop being a cat!”

“I know,” Evan said, glaring at him, “but I’m talking to a fucking cat and I don’t want people—”

“Then stopping shouting!”

Evan was sure that the cat was meowing to everyone else but him while he listened to his friend’s voice escape the small jaws of this feline. Even the canine’s looked cute from where Evan was knelt. He wanted to reach down and choke this cat out because of how adorable he was, but that rather violent instinct was a lot easier to shove down while he picked Delirious up.

“No, let go of me! What the hell, Evan!” The cat flailed and squirmed in Evan’ hands as he placed him against his chest, and started to pet him, hoping the cat would shut the hell up.

The people were moving on, but Evan was trying his best not to feel as awkward as he was while Delirious was digging his claws into the fabric of shirt.

“Quit it, or I’ll drop you and walk back inside,” Evan said as he looked down at the cat. He was really cute, which was a thought that rarely came up.

Delirious huffed in annoyance. “I just want to be normal…”

“Yeah, well…” Evan said, turning away from the street and headed back inside his house. “I want to know how you turned into a cat before we decide to solve this rather interesting mystery. Unless I’m high, then that’s another thing I’m going to have to deal with.”

Delirious squirmed until he was able to get out of Evan’ hold. He was a little disappointed once Delirious landed on the floor and started walking around. He was soft like most cats, and it felt nice to touch his fur...and he hoped in the future he would never talk about this experience to anyone, ever.

“I ate something,” Delirious said, turning around and sitting down. He blinked his blue eyes up at Evan who walked by him and into the kitchen. He needed his morning coffee so he could deal with this bullshit.

“You ate something?” Evan chuckled, but it was hardly enthusiastic, more that he couldn’t believe Delirious just ate something off the ground. He even brought that up which gained him the slight scare once Delirious hopped up onto the counter.

“I didn’t eat anything on the ground,” he said, walking along the counter toward him.

“Then explain thoroughly, Delirious, because you turning into a cat...is abnormal, and I keep thinking I’m dreaming.” It would be a better explanation than Delirious randomly turning into a cat and appearing outside his house. He took out his phone and while Delirious stayed on the counter, quickly took a few pictures of him.

Delirious rubbed the end of his nose and sighed. “Fine. It was a plant, I was drinking, and some friends wanted me to eat it, and we did...and I woke up like this.”

“A plant? Like shrooms?”

“I don’t know, I was drunk.”

Of course this would happen when he was drunk, but it’s not something Evan would’ve thought would happen to him. Usually when people got drunk, they did other stupid shit, and sometimes dangerous things, but to eat a plant then turn into a small black cat with white mittens, that was another thing.

“I have no idea what is going on,” Evan said as he stirred sugar into his cup, and while he pushed a curious Delirious away, he picked it up and took a long sip.

“How do you think I feel?” Delirious asked, wrapping his paws around Evan’ hand. The softness sent a ripple of warmth in Evan, and the same violent thoughts returned.

“I kind of want to kill you,” he said, setting the cup down.

Delirious backed up. “Are you usually like this with animals?”

“No. I just think you’re cute.” Yeah, he must be sleeping.

Delirious laughed. “Now you sound drunk.”

“You’re the idiot who ate a plant!”

“And you’re the one who wants to kill a cute little cat.” Delirious jumped from the counter and walked to the hall. Evan followed after picking up his cup. He had no idea how they were going to fix this.

“If you ate the plant and turned into a cat, then maybe if you eat it again, you could turn back into a human,” Evan suggested. He reached down to pick up the cat then plopped him down onto the black leather couch in his living room.

“Wait, where are you going!” Delirious called as Evan headed for his bedroom.

“I have to change.” He walked inside his room, closed the door, then let out a deep sigh. Yeah, this was going to be a strange issue. He set his coffee down on his dresser, and pulled out a few article of clothing, then started to change. While he did this, he heard Delirious’ voice on the other side of the door, and his small scratches.

“Let me in! Evan! Why did you go in there? Let me in!”

“I said I was changing,” Evan said, smiling at the door as the scratching continued. “Why are you being an annoying shit?” He opened the door and picked up the cat and watched as Delirious squirmed around.

“Let me go! What do you think you’re doing?”

“This is going to be rough…” Evan said, reaching for his coffee while holding Delirious and walking back down the hallway.

Ten minutes later, Evan set Delirious down outside on the steps of his house. He was glaring up at Evan who hardly thought it was effective.

“Alright, cat, show me where you found this fucking plant.”

“I’m not sure if it would be there,” Delirious said, bounding off the steps toward the sidewalk. Evan wanted to keep up in case Delirious accidentally wandered off the sidewalk.

“What do you mean? Where else would it be?”

“I don’t know,” he said, turning around, tail swishing.

“You have to know…” Evan said while scanning the street in case more people end up watching him yelling at a cute fluffy cat that’s staring up at him. “Do you want to stay like this all the time?”

“No, then you’d have to be my owner.”

“Right now, I’m practically your master, so shut up and show me this damn plant.”

Delirious grumbled and sprinted off along the sidewalk. Evan kept up with the cat as it started meowing, then to Evan’ anxiety, Delirious ran onto the street as two cars came into view. They stopped on time, but the screeching had Evan yelling, and sprinting after the cat that was currently freaking out.

“Oh God!” Evan said, scooping the cat up from the road.

“It’s dangerous, it’s dangerous!” Delirious said, breathing heavily.

“Stupid cat,” Evan muttered, placing the cat on the grass.

“I’m not stupid!”

“You ran into traffic.”

“I didn’t see those cars!” 

Evan watched Delirious wander off into the grass toward the park. “Where are you going?”

“I smell it...I think.”

“You think?” Evan asked, incredulously. This might take a long time while he followed after Delirious as he weaves through the grass, past a woman and a man lying under the sun. They glanced at him, and mostly at the cat, the woman was cooing, but Delirious was completely ignoring them.

“He hates people,” Evan said, shrugging his shoulders.

“I smell it…” Delirious said once they were near a tree. He was smelling around the trunk as Evan took out his phone and hoped this video could maybe give him some sense that he wasn’t losing his mind. “It’s here!”

“I don’t see anything.”

Delirious bounded off down the incline of the hill they had climbed toward a fence.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Evan asked, watching Delirious trying to squeeze his small body underneath the fence.

“It’s on the other side!”

Evan sighed. He reached down and lifted the squirming cat in his hands. 

“Let me go!”

“Shut up!” Then Evan tossed him over the fence and laughed as Delirious screamed before going silent on the other side. “You landed on your feet right...you know, like a cat usually does?”

“Uh, yeah,” Delirious said, voice slightly muffled before he started meowing again like a distressed kitten.

“For fuck sakes,” Evan muttered, then he jumped and reached for the top of the fence, and pulled himself up by pushing his feet against the fence as leverage. Once he crawled over, he spotted Delirious eating the grass. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I got distracted,” Delirious said, rolling in the grass then standing on all fours. “It’s here!”

“Alright, go find it.” Evan shook his head. He couldn’t believe it, but this was Delirious of course, so he should’ve expected it. They were inside a rather nice yard with clean cut grass and a pool on the side full of clear water.

Delirious sprinted along the cement and started sniffing around the pool before turning around. He didn’t look like he knew what he was doing, which did not help Evan who had taken out his phone again.

“This is kind of annoying,” Evan said truthfully, taking a few more pictures.

“I can smell it…”

Evan sighed and walked over to him, then scooped up Delirious. “We’ll find it eventually...and from the way you’re looking, it must be close by.” He glanced down at Delirious who had crawled onto his shoulder and was purring.

“It’s somewhere around here…”

He didn’t really want to stay in the yard in case someone spotted him and called the police. Evan walked down the path toward the side of the house, he made sure no one could see him before strolling down the driveway toward the sidewalk.

“Anything?” he asked.

“Not so much,” Delirious murmured, sniffing the air. “I can’t smell anything...besides your shampoo.”

He was actually glad he took a shower before he found Delirious outside. “If I walk around this area, maybe you’ll find the scent again.”

“I was sure it was in that yard.”

“Well, it’s not.” Evan made sure that Delirious was balanced while they continued their search. He stopped a few times so Delirious could sniff the air, then direct him toward yards that Evan didn’t want to wander into.

“It must be on the other side,” Delirious mused.

“No, we were already on that side.” He glanced around, but it was so hot and the street was empty and quiet. It felt a little surreal that he had Delirious as a cat on his shoulder, talking about a plant he ate yet couldn’t find. “What does it look like?”

“Round, like a mushroom.”

Evan arched a brow and let out a laugh that seemed to have startled Delirious. “You did eat a mushroom!” And maybe he had too if he was actually experiencing this crazy shit.

“No,” Delirious said, narrowing his eyes, and Evan felt the pinpricks of his claws digging into his shoulder. “It was round like a mushroom, but it wasn’t a mushroom!”

“So it was some kind of weird plant then?”

“Yes, it was a weird plant…” Delirious groaned as he climbed on the top of Evan’s head.

He sighed. He was a grown man standing in the center of the sidewalk with a small black and white cat on the top of his head. “Are you serious?” he asked Delirious.

“Yes, just go!”

“For fuck sakes,” he said under his breath. He sauntered down the street before turning to the right and into an alley. He let Delirious direct him again while he sniffed the air. They walked for about a block before finding themselves back in the park.

“It’s here.” Delirious was having a bit of a difficult time trying to get off, and Evan reached up and picked him up. He wasn’t squirming as he had done earlier, and seemed content before he realized that Evan wasn’t letting him down. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Evan looked at the cat and smiled. “You’re so small and cute, that’s all.” He laughed to himself as he rubbed Delirious’ ear.

“Of course I’m cute.” Delirious swung his legs, and his claws were digging into Evan’s hand. “Let me go! We need to find this damn plant!”

With a sigh, Evan let him down and watched him walk into the grass. He glanced around the park and didn’t see the people who were there from earlier. It was dead besides the lone car that was driving by.

Delirious sprinted and Evan caught up to him as he started digging in the center of the park. “It’s right here!”

“There’s nothing there…” Evan wiped sweat from his forehead and frowned at the discarded grass while dirt sprinkled on Delirious’ fur. “You’re making a mess, Delirious.”

“Shut up, it’s here, I can smell it!”

Evan knelt down and pushed the cat away from the small hole, then started digging for him. “Are you sure? If you were drunk and found this plant—also why are you eating random plants while you were drunk?” Delirious was currently cleaning his paw. “I didn’t do it, my friend showed me the plant, and he didn’t tell me what it was until after.”

“Is he a cat?”

“Probably.”

“Are you going to help him once you turn back into a human?” Evan asked.

“I don’t know…” 

Evan smiled, then stopped when he found nothing. “It’s not here.”

“It has to be!” Delirious said, going back to digging into the dirt. “I can’t be a cat this entire time, I can’t! I have to go back to being a human!”

Evan wiped more sweat from his forehead. “I don’t know, but I’m hungry, and maybe you are too?”

“I’m not eating cat food.”

“Then what are you going to eat?”

Delirious stopped and peered up at Evan. “Real human food! When I return to being a human!”

Evan wasn’t sure what they were going to do if he stayed as a cat. “I might have to buy a collar, a leash maybe.” He got up from the ground and picked up Delirious at the same time. “Take you to the vet…”

“No. Evan, you can’t! I’m not a cat, I won’t stay like this forever!” He was squirming in Evan’s arms again. 

Evan sighed and pressed him to his shoulder and started walking across the park toward his house. He wasn’t sure what to say about Delirious’ _condition_. All he knew was that he was a cat, and they had no idea where this plant was that can turn him back into a human.

“When did you take it anyways?”

“The other night…”

“The time, to be more specific,” Evan said, petting Delirious’ back.

“Around twelve.”

“And when did you realize you were a cat?”

“When I woke up, maybe an hour before I walked to your place.” He sounded defeated.

“You _walked_ to my place?”

“It wasn’t far from where I was.”

Right. He invited Delirious over a few times with their friends before. It rarely happened, and this...well he wasn’t sure what they were going to do, or how they were going to explain this to anyone.

“We’ll find the plant later, okay.”

“Okay…”

Evan walked across the street and drew closer to his house. Then Delirious’ head perked up, ears rising, nose sniffing the air. “What is it?”

“I smell it. It’s close!” Then he was scrambling off of Evan and dashing toward the side of Evan’s house. 

“Wait, Delirious!” Evan chased after him and found Delirious hopping around some kind of strange round plant on the ground. He knelt down to look at it more closely. “Is this it?”

“Yes, this is it! I can turn back into a human!”

“How...why is it here?”

“I don’t know, I smelled it everywhere, but here, I couldn’t smell it until now. It’s actually really strange.” Then Delirious was scratching the strange round green looking plant.

Evan reached down and plucked it out from the ground, examining it closer. It looked more like a flower that hasn’t bloomed yet. He almost wanted to tear it apart, but Delirious was crawling on him, trying his best to get to the plant that can change him into a human.

He set it down when Delirious started meowing, and felt a pang in his chest that in a matter of seconds, Delirious was going to change back into a human. He should be happy about that, but he couldn’t ignore the disappointment. Not like Delirious should’ve been a cat in the first place, or that it should’ve been possible for him to be turned into a cat.

Delirious bit into the plant with his canines, he made a disgusted sound after eating a large portion.

“So...how long is this process?” Evan asked. “Is it going to freak me out more than I am now or what?” He wasn’t even sure how Delirious will turn back into a human.

“I don’t know, I can’t remember,” Delirious said, going into a circle then sitting down, peering up at Evan. “I guess we wait...maybe you should bring it in the house.”

“Why?”

“Just so it doesn’t disappear again.”

Right, that’s exactly what happened. Evan grabbed the plant, then picked up a willing Delirious. He seemed content after eating the plant and was okay with Evan holding him as he headed back into his house. He found a plastic bag after setting Delirious down on the floor, and dropped the plant inside, then set it on the counter before walking toward his bedroom.

“What now?” Delirious asked.

Evan sighed as he sat down on his bed. “I want to sleep...doing all this shit made me tired.” Maybe when he wakes up, this will all be some crazy dream. He placed his phone down on the nightstand and laid down on the bed, he covered his eyes with his arm. Then he felt a weight on his side, and small paws on his chest, he felt Delirious’ wet nose on his hand before he removed it and found himself staring into his blue eyes.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“So, you’re just going to sleep?” Delirious asked.

“For a bit, not too long…”

“Okay.” Delirious made a circle on him, then started kneading him before Evan pushed him slightly to lay down beside Evan.

“I am going to turn back right?”

Evan stared up at the ceiling, feeling the small weight against him. “I’m sure you will.” He didn’t know, and he didn’t know what to say if he was wrong. “Just sleep, Delirious.”

“Okay.”

Evan closed his eyes while petting Delirious until his small form went still beside him. Evan had also slowly fell asleep at the quiet in the room.

It wasn’t long until he woke up, and it was still somewhat bright inside the room. The day wasn’t fully wasted, and he had a second to realize what actually happened in the morning, and what he had to deal with. He almost wanted to laugh at the idea that it happened, or that it was just a dream.

What he did know was that he felt a weight on him. It wasn’t small or anything, and when he looked, he recognized Delirious’ dark hair, and realized that he was sleeping on his side, cuddled against him with his head on his chest. He was wearing clothes, which was actually something he hadn’t thought about. A blue shirt and black jeans.

“Delirious…” he whispered. He didn’t move, and stayed sleeping against Evan. He reached over to grab his phone sitting on the bedside table and pulled up his photo album. A smile broke out on his face as he looked at the photos he had taken of Delirious when he was a kitten. A small adorable little cat that was both annoyed by his predicament and cute as he tried to figure out how to get out of what was happening to him.

Evan cleared his throat, and said, “Jonathan. Wake up, you’re no longer a cat.”

Delirious murmured against him, hand extending out against Evan’s chest. “You’re a cat.”

Evan rolled his eyes. “Okay...well, at least you’ll be happy you’re no longer a cat, unless we were both on some weird ass drug.” Although they had never found themselves lying in the same bed before, so this must be telling them something. He wasn’t really sure, so he set the phone down on the table and carefully ran his fingers through Delirious’ hair. 

“Not as soft,” he whispered, still amused Delirious had truly turned into a cat. He was still a little tired, so he decided to sleep for another hour, or at least until Delirious woke up. He combed through Delirious’ hair until sleep had once again caught up to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by H2ODelirious's GTA5 video - Showing Friends The Grenade Glitch! (Peyote Plant Funny Moments) (12:45) He looks adorable, so I thought of writing this because I thought it was a fun idea. :) fyi, I'm terrible with titles.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciated.


End file.
